Today I’m gonna write about the arguably biggest question of my life (so far) – What’s the purpose of my existence? Why am I even here on earth?
I had a really hard time figure it out. At times I was so frustrated that I wanted to kill myself (not saying I was going to do that physically) because I went through good times, bad times, achieved a lot… THEN WHAT?
I was depressed while struggling with that question, so I read intensively, travelled a lot and tried to do so many things to find the answer. This writing came up after I listened to Alex Ikonn who brought this interesting question “What’s your purpose?” up and made me think concretely about it again, so thanks, Alex.
Luckily at this certain point (today), I’m pretty sure that I’ve found the ultimate answer to the THEN WHAT? (not saying the answer will remain as it forever). I hope it helps if you are having (or struggling with) the same question. Let’s begin…
Goal vs. Purpose
People (including myself) mix these 2 things up and get confused all the time.
I originally thought my goals were my purposes. I’d be happy if I achieved this and that.
So I set myself some goals. Then I worked hard and achieved my goals one after another (I won’t go into details here because then the stories will go on forever), then I was lost after every victory. I then tried to set myself even bigger goals, I eventually achieved some of them, and I knew I was on the way of achieving other goals. I was lost again. THEN WHAT?
The point is – Your achievements, relationships, status, money, etc. you name them… the accomplishments or milestones that require external condition(s) to be fulfilled are your GOALS. Once you’ve reached a single goal, you’re done with it; or when a required external condition becomes unfulfillable, you’re also done with that goal. Ask yourself this question:
What if the one you love most just dies one day?
Are you done with that relationship? Yes, you are.
I choose this particular example because it’s extreme. Your beloved just dies; he doesn’t betray you, doesn’t move away, he just dies, suddenly, gone. You have no way back. And if you think a meaningful relationship is your eventual purpose? THEN WHAT? What are you gonna do next? What will drive you forward?
Your PURPOSE is something that drives you forward without requiring external condition(s) to be satisfied. And I can’t tell you what your purpose is. You have to find it for yourself if you think it’s important. It’s not gonna be easy, figuring out your purpose is a hard job.
However, I can tell you how did I find my purpose. I hope it helps.
My purpose is to get people’s backs, be their rock and help them to get the best out of themselves.
As a kid, I witnessed the deaths of my grandparents. Two of them died because of cancer. One day when I was about 16, while we were having dinner, my mother suddenly discovered a visible tumour on my neck. Her face turned white. I laughed at myself to cheer her up, said I’d go check things up the day after. The true feeling was – There was a countdown clock literally appeared in front of my eyes.
I’d never believed that I was going to die miserably like the grannies. The health-check turned out to be fine, just one harmless tumour. I laughed again to my mum, said: “See, I told you so.” I, however, have always asked myself this question for the last 10 years: What if things had turned out to be bad?
I needed to get my mum’s back even though I was scared to death. I was the patient, I was supposed to be supported. Nevertheless, at that moment, I could see the value of myself to my mum and how she would just hold on to it. I had to stand strong for her.
In short, years have passed and it took me a long time to realise that being people’s rock is the purpose of my existence. However, I’ve since (somewhat unconsciously) offered my concrete help and support to people whom really needed my help (in some cases for a long period of time), and my purpose has never failed to keep me going forward.
I love you too!